5th Sunday of Easter: The Back of His Head
Our reading today from the Gospel of John comes in the middle of what is often called Jesus’ farewell or departure discourse. He’s trying to prepare the disciples for what is about to happen…for the reality that he will not be physically with them much longer.
And you can almost feel the anxiety starting to rise in the room. Can’t you?
Jesus has been hinting at this for a while. Throughout the gospels, he keeps pointing toward what is coming next, and more often than not, the disciples don’t quite get it. But here—here something is shifting. Maybe they don’t fully understand what is going to happen, but they are beginning to understand that something is going to happen. And that he won’t be with them in the same way.
So, Thomas asks the question. And I think we should give Thomas a little credit here. He’s not being difficult. He’s being honest. He’s asking the question that everyone else is probably thinking but hasn’t said out loud.
“Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?”
And I think that question can be heard in a couple of different ways.
It could mean: “We don’t know where you’re going, so how could we possibly know how to get there?”
But I think there’s also another possible twist to it. I think Thomas is also asking: “If you’re not going to be here…if you’re not physically with us…how are we supposed to know what to do? How are we supposed to know the way then?”
And if that’s the question, then I think that Jesus’ answer starts to sound a little different.
He says, “I am the way…” Not, “Here are the directions.” Not, “Let me map this out for you.” But, “I am the way.”
In other words: You already know more than you think you do.You have seen the way. You have been walking in it. Follow me.
Do what you have seen me do. Say what you have heard me say. And if you do that…you will know the way.
And you can understand why that might not immediately calm them down. Because what they are really feeling is uncertainty. Maybe even fear.
They are wondering: What happens next? What does life look like without Jesus physically right there in front of them?
And Jesus knows that. That’s why he says: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.”
He’s not pretending everything is simple. He’s trying to prepare them.
He’s trying to remind them: you are not being left with nothing. You are being sent with everything you need. You have seen how I live. You have heard what I say. You know what matters.
And then we hear those words from the First Letter of Peter: “You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people…”
In other words, you are the ones now. You are the ones who carry this forward. You are chosen. I have chosen you. Be who you are called to be. Do what you have seen. Say what you have heard.
That sounds simple enough when we say it out loud. But then we come back to our own lives. And the question is still there: How do we actually do that? How do we trust in God in the middle of everything that feels uncertain or anxious or just unclear?
How do we trust in the midst of the anxiety, the uncertainty and craziness, the insanity that we see in our world today? What does that trust really look like?
And I think Jesus gives us an answer, but maybe it’s not the kind of answer that we may often want.Because we tend to want clarity. We often want a plan. Many times we want to see the whole path laid out in front of us before we take the first step. But that’s not how this all works.
I ran across something recently that stuck with me. I don’t recall where I saw it or where I read it, but it really stuck with me. It suggested that maybe the most accurate image of Jesus is not one where we are looking at his face…but one where we are seeing the back of his head.
And that makes sense, doesn’t it?
Because that’s what it means to follow. You’re not always face to face. Most of the time, you are walking behind. You are watching where he goes. You are paying attention to how he moves, who he stops for, what he says, what he does. And then you take the next step.
Faith isn’t standing still until everything makes sense. Faith is taking the next step…because you recognize the one in front of you. The disciples didn’t learn “the way” by studying it. They learned it by walking it. And I think now Jesus is saying: keep walking.
And maybe that’s enough. Maybe we don’t need to know everything about the way. Maybe we don’t need the whole road all mapped out. Maybe we just need to see to the next small hill or incline. Maybe what we need is just a little trust.
Maybe we just need to trust that what we have seen in Jesus—his compassion, his presence, his willingness to step into people’s lives, especially when things are messy or hard–that that is the way.
And that when we live that way with one another…we are on the path. Not perfectly. Not with complete clarity. But faithfully. And not alone.
Because this isn’t something we figure out all by ourselves. We walk this journey together. As that “royal priesthood,” that “holy nation,” that community called to reflect something of God’s love in the world.
So maybe—maybe Thomas’ question is our question too. “How do we know the way?” And maybe Jesus’ answer is the same:
You have seen it. You know it. Now go and live it.
And then step by step, together…you will find that you are already on the way.